Thursday, June 25, 2009

MY BABY IS GONE!!!!!

Yes, it is official, my baby is gone. She moved! Right out of the state of Texas to Colorado! She sold her house and got another job in Colorado. She also took her sweet, wonderful husband, dog, cat and fancy "green" washing machine with her. Yes, I am afraid she really is gone! Not that she didn't warn me or prepare me for this moment. Let me tell you our story. You see, she was not suppose to make it into this world. After many prayers and the doctors declaring her a miracle, God gave our family this precious little girl.
Her pediatrician remembers seeing me sitting in her waiting room for the first time. I was all dressed up in my pink suit with matching shoes and purse. Sitting beside me were two precious and well behaved little boys dressed in their neatly pressed, preppy clothes. The doctor and her nurse, whom I was about to interview to see if they were worthy to care for my precious baby, watched as I carefully explained to the boys that they were not allowed to run and jump in the waiting room like the other children. I then handed them color books and crayons from my perfectly color coordinated toy bag and they quietly colored as we waited. At that point, the doctor turned to the nurse and said, "I think God looked down on this perfect little picture of a mom with her children and decided to liven things up a bit." Oh sure, she tried to tell me that critically ill babies, like the one that I was about to have, had to be fighters, had tremendous wills to live, very strong personalities, and used words like stubborn, head strong, high strung, a challenge to raise, etc. but did I believe her? If I did, that all went right out of my mind the first time I held that tiny, perfect, beautiful little girl with all those dark curls.

At 6 months old, this beautiful child dressed head to toe in pink and lace complete with a pink bow in her dark curls, arrived back in the doctor's office. It was for the third time in one week, with a haggard looking mother demanding tests be run. Surely the baby was in pain. She went from a sleeping angel with a soft feminine cry to a bellowing, screaming machine. One brother, at 3:00am in the morning, sleepily asked if we could take her back to the hospital and leave her! After determining that indeed, Baby Jenny was progressing nicely, the doctor reminded me of that strong personality that she had warned me of. However, she also pointed out that these children are natural born leaders, outgoing, courageous, very intelligent, motivated, achievers, fearless, strong and provide challenges in parenting. Obviously I had alot of work to do!
I was determined that she would indeed be the image of what I imagined a daughter to be. I would provide her with every opportunity to be a sweet, calm little girl. I imagined her sitting happily in her pink carpeted room with her canopied bed playing with all of her dolls and tea sets. And I did provide those! However, I can still see her tossing the dolls aside and picking up one of her brother's large metal Tonka trucks and trying to hit him over the head with it.
She declared her independence at age one! She refused to put on any clothes I picked out for her. At age 4, she found out about college and declared that she would go and would definitely live on campus, away from me. Dolls, tea sets, ballet and tap lessons were very quickly replaced with stuffed and plastic animals of all kinds followed by a real horse and riding lessons. I adjusted. I admired her toughness, fearlessness and courage. Every time I had to tell her no, which was quite often, she told me she could not wait to be on her own.
I don't know if she sensed that I needed help to let her go or if she loved me enough to prepare me, but in her teen years, she often told me she was moving out the day she turned 18. Finding out that she would need me to help pay college bills, she then tried to go to college as far away as she could, which to her was in California. She almost made it, but settled for Texas A & M. When she graduated from college, she also gave me plenty of time to adjust to her next stage of independence. She got engaged to Matt, whom we loved, and she followed the proper wedding time line so there was plenty of time to prepare. The wedding was beautiful and fun, just like she wanted it. They bought a house and lived a mere 30 minutes away. AND THEN they lived happily ever after close to family and friends. Not! This is what happened next!
This picture represents everything that Jenny and Matt own and it is headed for Colorado. OK, to be fair, she did start preparing me 2 years ago. Each time she and Matt made a trip to Colorado, she called me and said, "You do know we are serious about moving to Colorado, right?" Who would have thought that with the economy in the state it is in, house sales down, and unemployment up, that they could pull this off. Not me! Wasn't going to happen at least not any time soon, right? Wrong! I forgot that beautiful baby with those dark curls did grow up to be a born leader, outgoing, courageous, very intelligent, motivated, an achiever, fearless and strong. Of course they would be able to sell their house and find great jobs and a great place to live in Colorado.
I'm happy for them, no I really am. It makes parents proud when their children achieve their goals and live their dreams. But does it have to be in Colorado? No, I really am happy for them, I really, really am. Yes, my daughter grew up to be everything that I could hope for. She even turned into the dainty, very feminine lady that I wanted her to be, as you can see by the below picture.

OK, maybe not, but a girl has to have one last fight with her older brother before she leaves for Colorado, right?!! Love you and miss you Jenny and Matt!

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